Hands off my dimples

Just some casual cannibalism to get your Friday moving…and we wonder why I’m single.* 

I do have a first date scheduled on Tuesday, assuming this one doesn’t cancel! Also *numerous* potentially dead-end conversations happening…looking to break out of this slump, just in time for wedding season, aka “and guest” season…

*note that I’m well aware we don’t actually wonder this. 

When in doubt, troll hard

Oh hey. It’s me. Your resident delinquent blog writer who can probably no longer even claim she writes a blog.  Been a minute, right? And I miss it. I’m not gonna pretend I’m about to start writing every day, but I will say this: I’m still here. I’m still dating. I’m still screenshotting everything. 

So for now, I give you the below, which tells you everything you need to know about my feelings on mansplaining. Not pictured: his response, because (shocker) I never got one. 

Bumbling Bumble Date

I finally went on my first date since Cookie! Anddddd it was a big fat flop. But hey – I did it. I had canceled three dates before that and was starting to feel like I’d never be motivated enough to actually do it.

Will I see him again? Certainly not. He had the personality of a piece of paper and his Irish accent made conversation a serious struggle. He also was weirdly pushy about me having a second drink. The date wasn’t even over and I was already texting my friend from high school about my boredom. I call her NY Newbie and she’s quite the dater herself – look out for guest posts coming soon!

4be93df3-f8fd-4a99-a952-21195673bf16

She may have a point.

Anyway, now that I’m over this hump, I’m feeling more confident about future dates – even have one lined up for next week!

In the meantime, the rest of this week is fraught with Ex Mess. Firstly, I’m having drinks with Mr. Adorable on Wednesday. Not in a romantic way (at least on my end) – Snapchat tells me he has a woolly mammoth beard these days. I actually can’t remember the last time we saw each other, though it may have been when I did a walk of shame from his apartment toting a rolly suitcase. The Original Wheels have an over/under going on how many times he unnecessarily brags about himself. Thoughts?

As for this upcoming weekend, I’m dreading a run-in with another ex, more to come on that…

 

Cute-crazy works every time

The past couple weeks have been filled with confronting previous ghosts, dealing with current ghosts, and continuing to allow my ex-boyfriend to disappoint me. This week, I’m determined to start anew. I’m swiping up a storm, trying out a couple new apps (reviews coming soon!), and developing some new openers.

3126a067-ae2c-4524-ae63-b4c29722ddcdFavorite appetizer has served me well but it’s been getting stale recently (pun certainly intended). A rousing debate with the Original Wheels ensued, during which several completely ridiculous ideas were proposed.

Finally, it came to us. What do I enjoy more than nearly anything else in this life? Trashy reality tv. In fact, the OW’s spent 10 hours on my couch last Sunday bingeing shows I guarantee you haven’t even heard of.

At first I hesitated to let my matches in on my secret. But then I thought – why not show them a little bit of cute-crazy upfront to mask the real-crazy that may come later?

Despite the factory of boredom pictured above, responses have been fantastic. And my strategy seems to be working – I already have a guy calling me his soulmate.